Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Re-post: Never forget those little things


“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Monday, February 13, 2012

When you say Islam is a MERCY

Hamza Kashgari

"MALAYSIAN authorities have deported a young Saudi journalist accused of insulting the Prophet Muhammad on Twitter, despite fears he could face execution in his home country."

I read this news on net today. This issue of insulting prophet is never strange in Islam, it's happened even when prophet Muhammad SAW still alive, but what is strange here is the way we response to such issue and the way prophet Muhammad SAW responses to it, imagine a man came to prophet Muhammad SAW and said:
"You inspired me. There are things that I like about you. There are things I do not like about you. There are things that I do not understand about you. I will not pray for you. I do not understand what Islam is. Where is the Mercy in Islam? "
What do you think his action will be, as far as you know about prophet Muhammad SAW  through the Al-Quran and Hadith?
A. Draw the sword and kill the man.
B. Asking him to repent, if he still refuse, he'll be killed.
C. Cursed him for insulting the Messenger of Allah. 
D. Smile at him and told him to sit down and say "What you do not like about me and what did not you understand?" that is, according to his nature as a mercy to all creatures.

You may disagree but I chose D, as I learn how prophet Muhammad responses to those people around him that sometimes go beyond the limit, even his own uncle hates him. There's some incidents like when He preaches Islam in Tha'if, then how people there treated him and what he's response to them really show us how is our prophet's real beautiful manner . Yes, I never agree with anyone that sounds like insulting prophet Muhammad SAW, but to demand executions of them because of their misunderstanding about prophet Muhammad SAW is just not a wise decision when we always say 'Islam is a MERCY.'. Do we forget that the Prophet Muhammad SAW always used to supplicate to Allah (S.W.T.) by saying, 

"O' Allah forgive my people because they do not know." 

[Reported by Imams Bukhari and Muslim]


I am sure there's a lot more Muslim who doesn't really know who is prophet Muhammad SAW and they've been confused because they didn't get the right information about our prophet. So the moral of the story is, lets get to know our prophet Muhammad SAW and spread the right information about him, peeps!!

WALLAHUA'LAM<

P/S: May Allah guides us all to the right path

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Goodbye and Hi! :)

Assalamualaykum all..

Oh what to write?? Please I need an idea please! I can see that the number of people coming to this little space of mine is very slowly increasing, maybe it's because I  rarely post something and everytime they come, they’re like, what?!! No update since November? oh how disappointing! What's the point to come over if the owner doesn't serve anything, isn't it? Well, that's a simple and straight forward hypothesis for the slow increasing number of people coming here, and I guess it's correct. All right, I think rather than putting on the '10 reasons-why-I-haven't-post-in-my-blog' I should post the '10 things-I've-learnt-in-2011' since we gonna end 2011 very soon. Oh I’m so excited!

One day to go and we will enter new year, 2012! They said, it's the end of the world! Oh my Lord, I don't know somehow I feel like this 2011 has passing by so quickly, seriously! I was like, it's already December, really? Pinch me, I couldn't believe it, when did I entered November? What did I do on October? What happened in September? Did I celebrated something on August? How about July, May, April, Mach, February and January? What's went on those months? I guess I need time to flash all back, will do that latter, sigh. Ok, so what is that '10 things-I've-learnt-in-2011'? Take a breath, relax your muscles and here we go.....

1. Everyone has got their own story in life. Don't go so quickly to judge people if we don't know the situation, keep pray for all.

2. Kids are innocence and honest creatures until we teach them not to be

3. People always think someone has changed when that person doesn't fit their expectation. Stop living on others expectation, be yourself. 

4. Keep doing good deeds to even people that hurt you because it's not the same person that Allah will send to us when we are in hardship.

5. Something that is small for us, might be huge to someone else, never take for granted someone that sincerely care and love you for Allah.

6. Allah always has a reason for everything happened in our life, we may want it to be the way we want it, but Allah will always gives it the way we need it. 

7. Soulmates are Allah's secret, we have no idea until the time comes, when He blows the feeling in your heart, the serenity, confidence and openness to accept someone at the beginning is the stranger to you.

8. Family bound is very important to be built as a strong relationship starting from the very beginning, so that everyone in the family will support, care and love each other. There's no awesome place like home! 

9. Keep positive, think positive, act positively towards others and all the positive things will come to you automatically. It's hard but you have to try it

10. Really, only Allah can gives you serenity, even when you try to deny, even when you have got 10 thousands theory on how to be in peace, because the key is to remember him. 

Alhamdullilah fi kulli hal (All praises to Allah in every situation). Goodbye 2011 and Hi 2012! I will leave 2011 with no regret and enter 2012 with new spirit, it will definitely different from previous years, I know that and I pray to Allah to give me the strength to remain in right path and deliver His messages to others. Amin.




"By time, indeed mankind is in loss .Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience." (Surah al Asr: 1-3)

P/S: If you don't mind, kindly tell me the lessons you've learnt in 2011 in the comment box! See ya! C:

Monday, November 21, 2011

Do we really need religion?


Dude, why do we need religion in our life? Isn't it makes your life difficult? Yeah to obey all the rules and so on, come on we are in this modern era, we learn and know morality, we know humanity very well, we practice good lifestyle so why do we need religion to tell us what to do and what not to? We can live our life freely as long as we don't disturb others, isn't it reasonable? We are in our religion by chance, I mean because our parents are in that religion we are happened to be the follower as well, we follow religion blindly!

Ok now you said you didn't need religion in your life because you know morality and humanity very well, let me ask you, who will determine whether the deeds are good or bad? Like morality, it could be very subjective, it may different from time to time, for example in modesty one of morality, a covered woman in Hijab say that non Hijab woman as immodest and a woman with no Hijab say that a woman with less clothes as immodest and a woman with less clothes will say that a woman in bikini as immodest and a woman in bikini will say that a nude woman is immodest. You have to remember, this is the point of view people of this era, how about the next generation, they may have another point of view in modesty. So which opinion is right in this situation? Can we say all of them is right? Who to tell them what modesty is? Who will determine which one is good for them, whether to cover themselves or not? 

We need to go back to the very basic and simple principle that we are the creation of the Most Great Creator, the one and only God, Allah. He did not simply created us and put us on Earth with no guidance, because He created us so He knows what do we need in our life, He tells us our purpose of life so that we will not ruin ourselves and others. He, Allah has the right to tell us what to do and what not to, so He gives us the manual which is Islam as a guidance, it makes our life organize and beautiful. We worship Him the way He wants us to, not the way we want to because He's the creator. Just like a car, the creator will also creates the manual along with it and if the user doesn't follow the manual,what do you think will happen?Yes,eventually the car will broken and who's suffering here? THE USER, and who to put the blame on, is it the CREATOR of the car or the USER? Yes again, the USER. Isn't it logic enough?



Yes, we are given the ability to think and analyze, so use this precious gift to find the WISDOM behind all the commands and rules. If we are born as Muslim BY CHANCE because our parents are Muslim, that's not an excuse to LEARN and GAIN knowledge, don't follow blindly, go into the flow and feel the beautiful sense when you follow religion because you are aware. We don't need to be instant perfect Muslim, we may take time, keep improve ourselves because Allah look into the effort even if it only the size of the seeds. Be a Muslim by choice not by chance, change the way you look at religion, look at it as God's love and gift for us not as a difficulties. Only with that we will find the wisdom behind all the command that the little discomfortness and difficulties at the beginning is nothing compared to the benefits we gained by practicing Islam. The research shown that psychologically, religion is the source of hope and optimist, it promotes good feelings of belongingness, it can boost our self-esteem and provides protection from existential threat. Which means it is good for our health!  Well, mentally and physically. So what are we waiting for? Ask yourself!


Saturday, November 19, 2011

I am freaking serious!


Well, I am not interested to promote this cool t-shirt my intention of putting this picture is to tell you that I am serious. Oh no, not sort of serious like I never smile to people and working 24/7 non stop with my head straight and my eyes stick on the machine OR something like that, it's just I am seriously miss to write wah bajet penulis berkaliber,  Oh my last post was on 27th October and today is 19th October opss November! What did I do? Let me think for a second not enough time ok maybe a minute, well I can't think of anything *this is even more serious*, oh Allah I want to write something that serious and now while trying to write something serious I discover the extremely serious thing : I didn't do anything actually! Wait, wait let me think deeper, let me reorganize my memories in this little space of my mind. Give me a chance to take a deep breath and here we go..........................after five minutes.........ah! Blank!!!! 

It means I just did something ordinary and I don't even have enough motivation to keep those things in my mind. What happen to me? What happen to my memory space? What is actually happening? I don't want to live my life absolutely same like animal, eating and sleeping, gain nothing. Big NO! I have to gain, learn, share and give something to others because the world is not my real home, hereafter is my real home, don't be foolish, please wake up! Reorganize your life according to Islam, Islam is beautiful, reasonable and suitable for all the time. Oh Allah don't let us be the servant of our desires, we are Your servants and only You. Allah, help us to keep in this right path and at the same time invite others to this path. Thank you Allah to sprinkle this feeling in my heart, that I need to do something if I want to keep my Iman alive. :'(

Have a blast day ahead buddies! C:


P/S: Almost all part of the post may not valid except for the verses of Quran. Well, I went to travel to some awesome places on earth and I learnt many things actually, I just need to record and write those precious lessons to keep them in my mind. Holaaa :D

Our Long Journey

Daisypath Anniversary tickers

ShareThis

Need He