Sunday, November 11, 2012

Marriage: Tips for Brothers

Assalamualaykum! 

        When a girl decided to get married to a man, she is actually decided to live the rest of her life with someone who's at the beginning is a totally stranger and then he became everything to her, even a key to Jannah because he is someone that took her parents role to take care, protect and love her the way he ought. Through marriage, two strangers sharing their live under one roof, sharing their feeling and go through all moment together. Marriage teaches them what love really is, commitment and responsibility as well as leadership. Well, at least this is what I thought about marriage. It such a miracle blessing from Allah especially when both husband and wife, understand and play their role passionately and patiently. Marriage should be a partnership of sorts, no matter what the religion. Two people who join together should learn to live with each other, each giving to each other, instead of always taking. As I promised in my previous post (Marriage: Tips for Sisters) , here are the tips for brothers to be a good husband inshaallah :)

1. Begin with a good greeting: When you return from work or travel, greet her. Start with ''As Salaamu Alaikum''. Smile to her. Give her a kiss. Tell her you love her, she will never forget this. There is always time for telling bad news.Have a sense of humor. Joke around. Play games with her.

2. Listen to her: Give her your attention when she speaks.

3. Talk with her: Talk with her about her feelings and your good memories.Spend time talking together. Postpone telling bad news to her until a suitable time. Look for the most suitable way to convey bad news.

4. Be Cheerful: Be happy, cheerful, friendly and gentle when you meet your wife.

5. Help her: Doing housework is not easy. You have a share of the housework too. Especially if she is sick or tired, don't wait untill she asks you to help.

6. Be Honest: Avoid telling her lies. If you're not truthful with her, she will never trust you. Always tell her the truth.

7. Consult her: Let her feel her opinion is important to you. Change your decision if she has a better opinion.

8. Thank her: Thank her for all the nice things she does, this will give her self-confidence.

9. Bring her a gift: It should not be an expensive gift, but is should be something she likes.

10. Listen to her Halal Demands: Let her improve you as a person. Encourage her to enjoin people to righteousness and discourage people from sinning. Encourage her to meet with her good friends and relatives. Take her out for halal entertainment. Entertain her yourself in halal ways!

11. Be nice to her in bed: Adhere to Islamic etiquitte of marriage and sex. Have a healthy intimate life with her and encourage and praise her during that. Incorporate halal means to improve your love life and her satisfaction.

12. Make Dua: Ask Allah to help you achieve and maintain excellent relations with your wife.

13. Help her in serving Allah. Wake her up in the last third of the night to pray ''Qiyam-al-Layl''. Teach her what you know of the Quran, Hadith, Tafseer and Dhikr.

14. Take her to Hajj and Umrah whenever you afford to do so.

15. Take her to visit her family frequently but especially at some occasions.

16. Be generous. Give her enough money. Never wait until she asks for that.

17. Trust her, love her, understand her.

18. Understand her fair needs and necessities and try his best to fulfill them.

19. Always share with her (some joke, special moments of your Business/Job/any profession, any emergency news, family matters, own habits).

20. Arrange some parties/sittings with your best friends' families in order to strong your family relation, expand her vision, and in this way she also able to support you in your outside matter.

21. Never blame your wife for the bad cooking of the food. If you like the food, eat and thank her. If you don't like the food, say nothing.

21. Don't insult her. If you've hurt her feelings, say ''I'm sorry'' and try to please her.

22. Don't describe other men to her. Don't compare other women with her.

23. Avoiding excess jealousy. Don't prevent her from answering the phone. Give her space so she wont feel suffocated.

24. Avoid shaming her such as insulting her.

25. Avoid returning at an unexpected time or at night, she may start to get suspicious.

26. Never blame her without any strong evidence.

27. Never break her trust not even in joke.

Yes, yes I know the list is longer then the tips for sisters, isn't it? Well, never expect him to do all of these in one night, it may takes time but inshallah if a husband and wife always think of giving the best and not expected so much, things will go fine. We are no perfect but we can't stop trying. We will get better when we help each other to become better, inshaallah. Hope these will benefits you and me. Have a good day :)

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