What's behind the screen?

Assalamualaykum...

We met people for a reason. They either a blessing or a lesson, and for both we ought to thank Allah, alhamdulillah :)

Yes I know, Palestinian in Gaza is under attack again. I know, Syrian is also in the same situation and the Rohingya issue is not settle yet. These are the cases that we know, how about an isolated cases? There's a lot more I guess such as in Philippines. Here and there around the globe, Muslim is being oppressed and yet they still be called as terrorist. Such an ironic situation, where someone that being oppressed is called as a terrorist and the culprit is called a hero. What a world we are living now? Allahu Akbar.

And I am here behind the screen, gaining weight, getting heavier and hungrier, waiting for the day my baby will pop out to this beautiful creation of God but yet ugly because of human world. The counting has started, Subhanallah, time flies really fast, it just like yesterday when we got the news on the presence of this little tiny creature in my belly, like just yesterday we have been through a rough situation at the beginning and things become better and better, then when we realized it is almost at the end of the year 2012! hey they said world will end in 2012, heh!

Alhamdulillah, with Allah's helps through His merciful, sometimes in some situations when we thought we can't go through it, it is very difficult and complicated for us, but then taraaaa we are still alive, the problem has been solved, we went through the situation, we passed it, yes we did it! In addition, we have got a good lessons and experience! Masha Allah, something that bitter at the beginning become something that benefit us at the end, we can even smile and laugh when we recall about it. Yes, worry ends when faith begins. Remember, Allah will never test us beyond our limit, sometimes He pushes us to our limit because He has greater faith in us then we have in ourselves. He knows what's best for us after all, because He is our creator :)

So, I will keep positive In shaa Allah, even I know I will go through a hard situation again the time I will deliver this precious baby, but Allah will never gives what's beyond my ability, so whatever I feel and experience on that day, I can endure it, In Shaa Allah. It is painful, every women feel painful so why do I have spice it up with another worries? Allah is watching me, ready to forgive my sins on every inch of pains until I have become pure just like my baby when he comes out, Alhamdulillah. So I will put my trust on Him and let the rest happen naturally as His wills.

Oh wow, we have been through the global issue and now to my personal issue, lol. Please keep me in your prayer, whoever that happened to read this post. May Allah bless you and your family, me and my family as well. :)

Palestine keep fighting!

Bismillah..

When we are busy wishing happy Muharram and have a wishlist for this year 1434H, our brothers and sisters in Palestine were being attacked by Zionist. Their wish is just to get Syahid, death for Allah's sake. Palestine, it's a country without army, without navy, without airforces and it is under attack. Some call this war but I call it genocide. Please, please, please pray for our brothers and sisters in Palestine.  :'(

Qunut Nazilah

Marriage: Tips for Brothers

Assalamualaykum! 

        When a girl decided to get married to a man, she is actually decided to live the rest of her life with someone who's at the beginning is a totally stranger and then he became everything to her, even a key to Jannah because he is someone that took her parents role to take care, protect and love her the way he ought. Through marriage, two strangers sharing their live under one roof, sharing their feeling and go through all moment together. Marriage teaches them what love really is, commitment and responsibility as well as leadership. Well, at least this is what I thought about marriage. It such a miracle blessing from Allah especially when both husband and wife, understand and play their role passionately and patiently. Marriage should be a partnership of sorts, no matter what the religion. Two people who join together should learn to live with each other, each giving to each other, instead of always taking. As I promised in my previous post (Marriage: Tips for Sisters) , here are the tips for brothers to be a good husband inshaallah :)

1. Begin with a good greeting: When you return from work or travel, greet her. Start with ''As Salaamu Alaikum''. Smile to her. Give her a kiss. Tell her you love her, she will never forget this. There is always time for telling bad news.Have a sense of humor. Joke around. Play games with her.

2. Listen to her: Give her your attention when she speaks.

3. Talk with her: Talk with her about her feelings and your good memories.Spend time talking together. Postpone telling bad news to her until a suitable time. Look for the most suitable way to convey bad news.

4. Be Cheerful: Be happy, cheerful, friendly and gentle when you meet your wife.

5. Help her: Doing housework is not easy. You have a share of the housework too. Especially if she is sick or tired, don't wait untill she asks you to help.

6. Be Honest: Avoid telling her lies. If you're not truthful with her, she will never trust you. Always tell her the truth.

7. Consult her: Let her feel her opinion is important to you. Change your decision if she has a better opinion.

8. Thank her: Thank her for all the nice things she does, this will give her self-confidence.

9. Bring her a gift: It should not be an expensive gift, but is should be something she likes.

10. Listen to her Halal Demands: Let her improve you as a person. Encourage her to enjoin people to righteousness and discourage people from sinning. Encourage her to meet with her good friends and relatives. Take her out for halal entertainment. Entertain her yourself in halal ways!

11. Be nice to her in bed: Adhere to Islamic etiquitte of marriage and sex. Have a healthy intimate life with her and encourage and praise her during that. Incorporate halal means to improve your love life and her satisfaction.

12. Make Dua: Ask Allah to help you achieve and maintain excellent relations with your wife.

13. Help her in serving Allah. Wake her up in the last third of the night to pray ''Qiyam-al-Layl''. Teach her what you know of the Quran, Hadith, Tafseer and Dhikr.

14. Take her to Hajj and Umrah whenever you afford to do so.

15. Take her to visit her family frequently but especially at some occasions.

16. Be generous. Give her enough money. Never wait until she asks for that.

17. Trust her, love her, understand her.

18. Understand her fair needs and necessities and try his best to fulfill them.

19. Always share with her (some joke, special moments of your Business/Job/any profession, any emergency news, family matters, own habits).

20. Arrange some parties/sittings with your best friends' families in order to strong your family relation, expand her vision, and in this way she also able to support you in your outside matter.

21. Never blame your wife for the bad cooking of the food. If you like the food, eat and thank her. If you don't like the food, say nothing.

21. Don't insult her. If you've hurt her feelings, say ''I'm sorry'' and try to please her.

22. Don't describe other men to her. Don't compare other women with her.

23. Avoiding excess jealousy. Don't prevent her from answering the phone. Give her space so she wont feel suffocated.

24. Avoid shaming her such as insulting her.

25. Avoid returning at an unexpected time or at night, she may start to get suspicious.

26. Never blame her without any strong evidence.

27. Never break her trust not even in joke.

Yes, yes I know the list is longer then the tips for sisters, isn't it? Well, never expect him to do all of these in one night, it may takes time but inshallah if a husband and wife always think of giving the best and not expected so much, things will go fine. We are no perfect but we can't stop trying. We will get better when we help each other to become better, inshaallah. Hope these will benefits you and me. Have a good day :)

Marriage: Tips for sisters

Assalamualaykum..

Yes, today is 10th November 2012, 10.11.2012, ok what a cute date isn't it? Today is also a last Saturday for year 1433H (Islamic calendar), today is the starting day of school holidays in Malaysia and today (again?) well, a lot of man and woman is getting married (Oh, including my friends and my cousin!) and you know what is so significant today? Today, my lovely husband has to work, OK. That's the end of the story because I couldn't attend any weddings alone in my condition now. Oh my Lord, please forgive me I know it is compulsory for me to fulfill an invitation of my Muslim fellow, but you know better about my condition and to all my friends, please do not feel upset, yes I know it is your BIG day and what does it mean when I am not there, right? (LOL!)

Ok, to start off, we should know that in our beautiful religion, Islam, marriage is a sacred and blessed contract between a man and a woman. It is not about a physical attraction alone because through marriage we vow to each other to obey Allah with our own role to play in making a marriage successful in dunya and akhirah. Marriage teach us about responsibility and commitment. So here, I got some tips for sisters out there that will get married soon, inshaallah.

1. Be the best wife you can be. Being a good Muslim wife is in many ways similar to being a good wife in other religions. Sure it has its own special features and requirements, just like any other religion. However, there are common basic methods and guidelines for being a good wife in general. Follow them.

2. Pray regularly. Always ask Allah for forgiveness and blessings on your marriage.

3. Understand and respect your husband's rights. Study authentic haadith and make sure that you understand your obligations as a wife as well as understand your rights. In Islam, a good wife is expected to be honest, sincere and cognizant of her husband's needs. At the same time her husband must respect her, fulfill her needs and even help her in household chores.

4. Be secure in yourself. Putting yourself down in front of him is another way of insulting his taste in women. If he is with you, it's because he wants to be. He will find you sexy even if you don't feel like it. Remember that attitude and willingness are large parts of being sexy. Poor self-esteem and a ''void'' in your life is terrible for marriage. Make sure you still have a fun and interesting life.

5. Express, don't accuse. Except in the rare event that your husband happens to be psychic, don't expect mind-reading powers. If you want something, ask. If something is wrong, say so. Don't drop hints or figure he'll ''come around''. Communicate calmly, clearly and directly. Relationships work best when each partner calmly express their current emotion without harping on what he has done. Frequently, a ''I feel attacked'' or ''I feel sad'' is all it takes for him to step back and ask, ''Why?'' Then simply say, ''When you slammed the door, I felt ignored.'' Let ''I feel'' be your guide.

6. Don't expect the moon. He needs to keep trying, you need to keep trying, but neither of you is perfect. Unmet expectations tend to frustrate everyone. However, if you both keep working on your marriage, you will always be covered, even when one of you comes up a little short. If your expectations are truly too high or unrealistic, then set standards that are obtainable. For example, it is unfair to expect to be lavished with possessions and have the love of your life home for every meal. Should you want more together time, be prepared to have that desire fulfilled at some expense.

7. Pick your battles. Nagging and nitpicking can destroy a relationship. As long as the dishes are clean and unbroken, for instance, don't nag about how to load the dishwasher ''the right way''. Let him do things his own way. Don't sweat the small stuff. Focus on what is important.

8. Accept him. Only by accepting him as he is, do you have such deep respect and gratitude for him that you would never want him to change in any way for you. He has so much to offer you if only you give him the space to be himself. He is a growing individual, just like you are. Help him grow in the direction that he chooses, and give him the chance to help you.

9. Dress pleasantly/attractively.If you are a home-maker,don't stay in your sleeping suit all day.Behave like a female, i.e. all the tenderness of a female.

10. Race to the door when he comes home, as if you were waiting for him. Smile, hug and kiss him :)

11. Stay with him during hard time. He will need his wife to listen to him, comfort him and give him the strength. Don't be selfish.

12. It is recommended not to criticize your husband, not in his presence, not in his absence, not when you're in front of people, and not when you're alone together. Be supportive, encouraging, and compliment him as much as you can. This doesn't mean you shouldn't voice your concerns, but there's a difference between expressing your needs and criticizing his ability to meet them.

13. Focus more on fulfilling your obligations, not demanding your rights.

Warnings:

Don't ever accept abuse (physical or otherwise). Islam requires a good wife to be loving and obeying to her full extent of ability, but it also obliges a man to respect his wife, and treat her in a civilized and tender manner. Understand that this is an obligation your husband must fulfill. Being a good wife in Islam does not mean you have to suffer in silence if your husband is physically, verbally or in any other way abusive. So you should learn how to recognize a manipulative or controlling relationship. Talk things out or see a counselor. If you're forced to do things, if he hits you at all, if he tries to control who you see or demeans you, it's definitely not a good relationship. A real man gets what he wants without forcing. Fuhh, ok I hope these tips will benefits you and me inshaallah. Wait, how about tips for brother? Well, will be coming soon,, inshaallah . Have a bless weddings and happy marriage! :)

P/S: Oh you may not know, but I change my blog header, and that's what motivate me to post something, Oh myself! :)

Aku pun manusia

Bismillah...

Assalamualaykum...

Semenjak semalam perasaan nak menulis membuak-buak secara tiba-tiba entah apa yang merasuk kalbu, tiba-tiba nak menulis perihal manusia (aku pun manusia ok). Hm mungkin bawaan budak kot yang mendesak naluri nak menulis ni, almaklumlah dah masuk 7 bulan dan lagi seminggu 8 bulan (eh, tetibe kan?). Whatever, hm sepanjang hidup selama berpuluh-puluh tahun dan semenjak Allah kurniakan kepandaian untuk menilai dan mentafsir sekeliling, aku dapati kebanyakan orang, mereka begitu 'curious' untuk tahu dan ambil tahu mengenai masalah orang. Curious dalam bahasa melayunya ingin tahu, perasaan dan naluri biasa yang semua manusia ada sebagai pelengkap kebijaksaan mereka untuk belajar dan memanfaatkan apa yang dibelajar. Tapi 'curious' yang satu ni lain sikit. Dia bukan nak belajar atau memanfaatkan apa yang dibelajar, cuma ingin tahu, ya sekadar memenuhi naluri ingin tahu atau mungkin mengisi masa lapangnya? Apa pun, motifnya hanya ingin tahu, contoh situasi:

Aminah: Bedah, kau hari-hari datang kerja dengan apa ye?

Bedah: Aku jalan kaki, tapi tak ada lah sampai hari-hari, ada hari tertentu sahaja.

Aminah: Oh, ok..

Ok, very typical name kan, Aminah dan Bedah. Is ok, as long as we have the character here. Si Aminah ingin tahu masalah Bedah yang selalu bila sampai pejabat sahaja kelihatan seperti baru lepas bersenam dan dengan rakus minum air laju-laju. Bila dah berlaku perbualan dia atas yang berhenti di situ, banyak yang bermain dalam kepala Aminah. Kenapa jalan kaki? Suami dia mana? Isk, tak patut la suami dia tu. Dah macam-macam andaian yang 99.9% adalah buruk, baru Aminah tanya lagi.

Aminah: Suami kau tak hantarkan?

Bedah: Suami aku kerja shift, tak menentu waktunya, sebab itu lah aku cakap kadang-kadang saja aku jalan kaki. 

Aminah: Oh, kenapa suami kau tak belikan kau motosikal atau kereta untuk kau datang kerja? Kesian aku tengok kau berpeluh-peluh sampai pejabat, isk tak patut la. 

Tanpa cuba memahami situasi Bedah, Aminah sesedap mulut melemparkan kata hatinya. Itulah dia komen yang bakal memberi kesan kepada rumahtangga orang lain. Tahu kenapa? Si Bedah akan mula terfikir, betul juga kata-kata Aminah tu dan mula berprasangka terhadap suaminya (syaitan dah mula cucuk!!). Sedangkan dia tahu, dia dan suaminya sudah sepakat, dengan keadaan dan situasi mereka sekarang, itu adalah jalan yang terbaik yang dapat mereka fikirkan bersama. Rumahtangga kan saling membantu, saling menguatkan, susah dan senag bersama! Berbalik kepada Aminah, perasaan prasangkanya tidak hilang malah canang pula pada orang lain tentang perihal suami Bedah yang kononnya tidak perihatin. Alangkah damainya dunia kalau Aminah jawab begini:

Aminah: Oh suami kau kerja shift, kalau macam tu, mulai esok aku boleh tolong jemput kau ke pejabat, lagi pun dekat saja rumah kau dari sini.

atau pun begini pun jadilah kan:

Aminah: Oh macam tu ke. Hebat kau Bedah, kalau aku ditempat kau tak tahu macam mana, kira kau setiap hari senaman kan? Sihat tubuh badan, ehe. Aku tabik spring bertingkat kat kau!

Dan kemudian bersangka baiklah kepada pasangan suami isteri tu. Suami manalah yang mahu isterinya bersusah payah jalan kaki walaupun hanya 10 minit? Mesti mereka sudah sepakat dan berbincang sebaik mungkin. Ya, berangka baiklah, ayuh! Jika anda tidak mampu jadi penyelesai masalah, jangan pula menjadi penambah masalah. Jika tidak mampu membantu, sekurang-kurangnya berilah empati dan kata-kata semangat. Inshaallah, orang sayang Allah lagi sayang :)