Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Will You Marry Her? part 2

Assalamualaykum all..

Marriage..Again??! Ok this is important I think, maybe we missed it or we don't know about it. So just go through this article, inshaallah. I've got it from the star and the actual title is Spirit of the Law. Lets check it out:

Islam allows a man to marry up to four wives if he can love all fairly and treat them justly but more often than not, men fail to do that. Women experience a sense of betrayal and families break down. Out of mutual love and respect, can a Muslim woman put down a marriage condition that her husband-to-be doesn't marry another woman as long as she lives or as long as they are married?

"Yes, this can be agreed upon through Ta'liq, a set of conditions agreed upon when couples get married," says Nik Noriani Nik Badli Shah, legal consultant for Sisters In Islam.

"Such a practice is legally accepted in many Muslim countries. If the man breaks the condition, his wife is entitled to divorce and compensation," she explains.

"This is not a new thing. It was common during the Ottoman period. It is not commonly practised here because people have the misperception that polygamy is a right granted to Muslim men."

The marriage contractual term goes back to the days of Prophet Muhammad.

"When the Prophet's daughter was upset that her husband wanted to take another wife, he announced that it would not be allowed unless they divorce. So his son-in-law did not take another wife," elaborates Nik Noriani.

The prophet's great granddaughter had six husbands (one after another) but in her marriage contract she stipulated various terms, one of which states that her husband cannot take another wife as long as they are married. When one of her husbands broke his promise, she went to court to get a divorce.

In Malaysia, the standard Ta'liq form provides only for divorce if the husband doesn't pay maintenance or treats his wife cruelly, and not when the husband takes another wife without her consent, she says.

The syariah law requires that the man gets the permission of the court and the court will consider the wife's view. He doesn't get the consent of the wife.

"Tunisia has banned polygamy since 1956. For the Tunisians, polygamy has become impossible to portray justice in modem society. Last year, Morocco enacted a new family law, which has stringent conditions and people looking at it say it is virtually impossible to have more than one wife. Saudi Arabia provides for individual marriage contracts," she says.

Nik Noraini also adds that all the Quranic restrictions are in the spirit of monogamy.
The practice of polygamy during Muhammad's time was to provide for the widows and orphans but most men today are not marrying widows with children but younger women, says Maria Chin Abdullah, executive director of Women's Development Collective.

"They see polygamy as a man's privilege but if the table is turned around, they would be equally distressed as the women. It all comes down to respect, " she says.

Moreover, how does a man have another wife without cheating on his existing wife he secretly sees another woman unless he sees a widow from a distance and decides to marry her. "But which man does that?" says Maria.

"Often, they are fined for khalwat (close proximity) or zina (sex before marriage) when the first wife find out about the affair and report it to the authorities," she said.

The conditions in the Quran make it difficult for polygamous relationships but people don't adhere to the criteria, she says.

Mohd Na'im Mokhtar, a syariah law adviser, says there are two schools of thought on whether a wife can demand that her husband doesn't contract another marriage. One says a wife cannot stipulate such a condition because polygamy is something that is permissible. The other is of the opinion that it is allowed because it is not prohibited.

Since there is only a standard Ta'liq form, women can add new terms by going to the Islamic religious department and get it endorsed, he says.

"In my opinion, what is important is the maintenance of the marriage and the fairness between the parties so conditions should be set right from the beginning. If the wife cannot continue with a marriage where she has to live with another woman, the husband has to release her handsomely," he says

Ok, in a simple words, woman can give a condition to her candidate husband (E.g: she don't want her husband to marry a second wife) before get married,they both agree with the condition and they get married but if in the future, the husband break out that condition, he has to release his wife, as they'd make up a promise. Thats it, hope you get some infos here. Bear in mind, Islam is beautiful, always flexible and up-to-date. Don't feel shy to confess that we're muslim and that we are engaged with Islamic law, which is a law from Allah, the most great, effective and honor law..We should feel so proud('Izzah) as Islam is our way of life..Mashaallah..Have a great day.. :)

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